What are the customs and traditions at a Russian wedding. Wedding traditions in Russia and other countries

For a long time, it is the wedding that is considered the most important event in life. Our ancestors created a family, adhering to traditions and strictly observing special rules. Echoes of the wedding ritual traditions of Russia are also present in modern marriage.

The traditions of the wedding ceremonies of the Slavs date back more than one century: our ancestors followed the rules very carefully. Starting a family was a sacred and meaningful act that took an average of three days. Since that time, wedding signs and superstitions have come down to us, in Russia, passed down from generation to generation.

Wedding rites of the ancient Slavs

For our ancestors, the wedding ceremony was an extremely important event: they approached the creation of a new family very responsibly, hoping for the help of the Gods and fate. The word "wedding" itself consists of three parts: "swa" - heaven, "d" - an act on earth and "ba" - blessed by the Gods. It turns out that historically the word "wedding" stands for "an earthly act blessed by the Gods." From this knowledge, the ancient wedding rites originated.

Entry into family life is always primarily aimed at the continuation of a healthy and strong family. That is why the ancient Slavs imposed several restrictions and prohibitions on creating a new couple:

• the age of the groom must be at least 21 years old;
• the age of the bride is not less than 16 years;
• the family of the groom and the family of the bride should not be related by blood.

Contrary to popular belief, both the groom and the bride were rarely given in marriage or married against their will: it was believed that the Gods and life itself help the new couple find each other in a special, harmonious state.

Nowadays, a lot of attention is also paid to achieving harmony: for example, more and more people are starting to use special meditations to attract love. Our ancestors considered dance to be the best way to harmoniously merge with the rhythms of mother nature.

On the day of Perun or on the holiday of Ivan Kupala, young people who wanted to meet their fate gathered in two round dances: the men led the circle “salting” - in the direction of the sun, and the girls - “anti-salting”. Thus, both round dances went with their backs to each other.

At the moment of convergence of the dancing, the guy and the girl who collided with their backs were taken out of the round dance: it was believed that the Gods brought them together. Subsequently, if the girl and the guy were in love with each other, the bride was arranged, the parents got to know each other, and if everything was in order, the date of the wedding was set.

It was believed that on the day of the wedding, the bride died for her family and its guardian spirits, in order to be reborn in the groom's family. This change was of particular importance.

First of all, the wedding dress spoke about the symbolic death of the bride for a kind: our ancestors adopted a red wedding dress with a white veil instead of the current translucent veil.

Red and white in Russia were the colors of mourning, and the thick veil that completely covered the bride's face symbolized her being in the world of the dead. It could only be removed during the wedding feast, when the blessing of the Gods over the young had already been completed.

Preparation for the wedding day for both the groom and the bride began the night before: the bride's friends went with her to the bathhouse for a ritual bath. Under bitter songs and tears, the girl was washed with water from three buckets, symbolically indicating her presence between the three worlds: Reveal, Navi and Rule. The bride herself had to cry as much as possible in order to receive the forgiveness of the spirits of her kind, whom she was leaving.

On the morning of the wedding day, the groom sent the bride a gift that meant the fidelity of his intentions: a box with a comb, ribbons and sweets. From the moment the gift was received, the bride began to change clothes and prepare for the wedding ceremony. While dressing and combing, the friends also sang the saddest songs, and the bride had to cry even more than the day before: it was believed that the more tears shed before the wedding, the less they would be shed during married life.

Meanwhile, the so-called wedding train was gathering in the groom's house: wagons in which the groom himself and his team went to fetch the bride with gifts to her friends and parents. The richer the groom's family, the longer the train should be. When all the preparations were completed, the train went to the bride's house with singing and dancing.

Upon arrival, the bride's relatives checked the groom's intentions with questions and comic tasks. This tradition has been preserved in our time, turning into a "ransom" of the bride.

After the groom passed all the checks and got the opportunity to see the bride, the wedding train, together with the young, the squad and relatives, was sent to the temple. They always went to him on a long road, covering the bride’s face with a thick veil: it was believed that at that time the future wife was half in the Navi world, and it was impossible for people to see her “fully alive”.

Upon arrival at the temple, the sorcerer, who was waiting for the young, performed the rite of blessing the union, thereby confirming the harmony in the couple and sealing the oath of the young before the Gods. From that moment on, the bride and groom were considered family.

After the ceremony, all the guests, led by a married couple, went to a feast in honor of the wedding, which could last up to seven days with interruptions. During the treat, the young received gifts, and also repeatedly presented their guests with belts, amulet dolls and coins.

In addition, within six months of family life, the new family, having appreciated the gift of each guest, had to pay a return visit and give the so-called “gift” - a return gift worth more than the guest’s gift. By this, the young family showed that the guest's gift went for the future, increasing their well-being.

Over time, the unshakable wedding traditions have undergone some changes caused by migrations and wars. The changes took root and brought us the memory of Russian folk wedding rites.

Russian folk wedding ceremonies

With the advent of Christianity in Russia, wedding ceremonies have changed radically. For several decades, the ceremony of blessing the Gods at the temple turned into a wedding ceremony in the church. People did not immediately accept the new way of life, and this directly affected the holding of such an important event as a wedding.

Since the marriage union was not considered valid without a church wedding, the wedding ceremony consisted of two parts: a church wedding and a ritual part, a feast. "Magic" was not encouraged by the highest church ranks, but for some time the clergy participated in the "non-wedding" wedding part.

Just like the ancient Slavs, in the tradition of the Russian folk wedding, traditional customs were preserved for a long time: matchmaking, bride and collusion. At the general bridegroom, held at the festivities, the groom's family looked after the bride, inquiring about her and her family.

Having found a girl of suitable age and status, the groom's relatives sent matchmakers to the bride's family. Matchmakers could come up to three times: the first was to announce the intentions of the groom's family, the second was to look at the bride's family, and the third was to get consent.

In the event of a successful matchmaking, bride-to-be was appointed: the bride's family came to the groom's house and inspected the household, concluding whether their daughter would live well here. If everything was in order and met their expectations, the bride's parents accepted the invitation to share the meal with the groom's family. In case of refusal, the matchmaking was terminated.

If the bride-to-be was successful, then the groom's parents came with a return visit: they personally got acquainted with the bride, observed her housekeeping skills and communicated with her. If in the end they were not disappointed in the girl, then the groom was brought to the bride.

The girl had to appear in all her outfits, to show how good she is as a hostess and companion. The groom also had to show his best qualities: on the evening of the “third wedding”, the bride in most cases had the right to refuse the groom.

If the young people were able to please each other and did not object to the wedding, their parents began to discuss the material costs of the wedding of their children, the size of the dowry of the bride and gifts from the groom's family. This part was called “handshaking”, because, having agreed on everything, the father of the bride and the father of the groom “beat hands”, that is, they sealed the contract with a handshake.

After the completion of the contract, preparations for the wedding began, which could last up to a month.

On the day of the wedding, the bridesmaids dressed her in a wedding dress to lament about her girlish cheerful life. The bride had to constantly cry, seeing off her girlhood. Meanwhile, the groom with friends came to the bride's house, preparing to buy his future wife from her family and friends.

After a successful ransom and symbolic tests of the groom, the young people went to church: the groom and his friends set off noisily and with songs, and the bride went separately, on a long road, without attracting much attention to herself. The groom certainly had to arrive at the church first: in this way, the future wife avoided the stigma of the “abandoned bride”.

During the wedding, the bride and groom were placed on a spread white cloth, sprinkled with coins and hops. Also, the guests closely followed the wedding candles: it was believed that whoever holds his candle higher will dominate the family.

After the wedding was over, the couple had to blow out the candles at the same time in order to die on the same day. Extinguished candles should be kept for life, protected from damage and lit for a short time only during the birth of the first child.

After the wedding ceremony, the creation of a family was considered legal, and then a feast followed, at which the ritual actions of the ancient Slavs were largely manifested.

This custom existed for a long time, until it changed into modern wedding traditions, which nevertheless retained many of the ritual moments of ancient weddings.

Ancient wedding ceremonies

Many people in our time are not even aware of the sacred meaning of the familiar moments of any wedding. Instead of an authentic ceremony at a temple or a wedding in a church, which has been mandatory for a long time, now there is a state registration of marriage, followed by a banquet. It would seem that this is left of the ancient way of life? It turns out, a lot.

A Russian wedding is an interesting symbiosis of ancient national traditions, trends of the Soviet era and elements of Western style. Although many couples prefer to celebrate their wedding in the Western style (exit registration, replacement of the toastmaster by the host, lack of competitions, accordionist, traditional ransom and meeting with bread and salt), most of the couple adhere to the classical traditions.

Matchmaking

In ancient times, before sending matchmakers to the bride's house, they were carefully selected. As a rule, relatives became matchmakers. The main purpose of a matchmaker is to be an authoritative person in the eyes of others and to know what to say in a given situation. The peculiarities of weddings in Russia were that the bride did not know her future spouse before the wedding, and it depended on the skill of the matchmakers whether the wedding would take place at all.

Only by their speeches could one understand how good the groom is in his characteristics and qualities. Matchmaking has always been accompanied by jokes, songs, and dances.

As part of the matchmaking, many symbolic rites were performed, some of which are still observed today.

Loaf

This attribute was most often brought by matchmakers from the side of the groom. If the girl agreed to the wedding, she cut the loaf into pieces and distributed it to everyone present, starting with her parents. The loaf had to be eaten to the last bite - then the future marriage was considered successful and happy.

Towel

Today, a towel is used at matchmaking as a dish for a loaf. After the matchmaking, it is kept until the solemn day.

There were certain dates and even days when the outcome of the matchmaking could end most successfully. These dates included the 3rd, 5th, 7th, and 9th of each month, as well as October 14th. The last date was especially significant, since it fell on the feast of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos. It was impossible to get married on the 13th of any month. Among the days of the week for matchmaking, weekends, Tuesdays and Thursdays were best suited.

Matchmakers, once in the house of the future bride, never openly declared the purpose of their visit. They talked with the owners of the house on abstract topics, and then from a distance came to the point. The bride's parents welcomed the guests cordially, treated them to drinks (they were served by the future bride).

At this time, the matchmakers looked closely at the girl, began to ask about her and praise the groom. If the groom was refused, then, as a rule, it was a very laconic answer: “Our apple has not yet poured”, “Our goods are not for sale”, “The dowry has not yet been saved enough”, and others.

If the results of the matchmaking were positive, then after discussing organizational issues, the bride gave her betrothed a pledge - a handkerchief.

A piece of loaf was wrapped in a scarf, and the matchmaker carried it, lifting it up, so that everyone could see that the matchmaking was successful and the wedding would take place soon.

Today, the wedding decision is made by the lovers themselves. Only after that, parents and other relatives will learn about the upcoming event. Of course, matchmaking in many families is carried out to this day (as a certain tribute to old traditions, parents). It is during this pre-wedding ceremony that the parents of the bride can better see and recognize the groom.

Today, matchmaking is carried out in a simplified form. Matchmakers do not arrange theatrical scenes, they sing little and do not say jokes. The groom, having entered the house of the bride, gives flowers to all the women present. Matchmakers bring fruits, alcoholic drinks, sweets. The bride receives a valuable gift from the groom and future father-in-law and mother-in-law.

Most often this is a piece of jewelry, but it can also be an old family heirloom. The bride's parents are presented with an inexpensive gift, but with meaning: a horseshoe (a talisman for housing), a beautiful candle (for comfort and warmth in the house), a photo album (for good memories) and others. As soon as there was an exchange of gifts and mutual greetings, all those present are invited to the table, where the details of the future wedding are discussed.

So that matchmaking does not turn into a boring evening, you need to choose the right matchmakers. The most suitable option is talkative natures who are not burdened with constraint, complexes that can captivate everyone with them.

The groom, who came along with the matchmakers, must remain silent. It is matchmakers who should shine with eloquence. Having greeted all those present and informed about the purpose of the visit, the matchmakers can come up with a whole kaleidoscope of comic trials and tricky questions for the bride. The same tasks, carefully prepared by the bride's relatives, await the groom.

Standing apart in the midst of matchmaking with characteristic jokes is the moment of marriage proposal. At this moment, both the groom and the bride's parents should be very serious, but sincere. The groom can ask parents to marry their daughter to him at the very beginning of the meeting or at the table.

After the engagement was announced to everyone, the main wedding chores began. The bride, along with household chores, had to prepare her dowry and sew a wedding dress. In remote villages, there was even a custom to go out every day on the porch of one's father's house, to sob and lament about the fear of entering a new life. Today, this ritual is no longer observed.

In addition, a bachelorette party was held on the eve of the wedding. Today in Russia, a bachelorette party is celebrated very magnificently and loudly, but in the old days it was a fairly quiet evening with sad songs.

The bridesmaids braided her braid, weaving in satin ribbons, then untwisted it.

It was believed that in this way the bride says goodbye to her former unmarried life. The bride herself wept and lamented. Ribbons from the bride's braid were considered endowed with meaning: the bridesmaids took them apart and kept them for happiness and a speedy marriage.

Pre-wedding preparation on the part of the groom consisted in baking a huge painted loaf, decorated with flowers, figurines and interesting patterns from the dough. The entire female half of the house, accompanied by loaf songs, was engaged in the creation of this culinary masterpiece until dawn. The groom had a bachelor party on the eve of the wedding. This evening was attended by his family and friends.

Bride ransom

In Russia, the ransom of the bride was a very responsible matter, requiring considerable generosity from the groom. Today, the monetary component has already faded into the background. The main purpose of the ransom today: passing all the test-competitions prepared by the bridesmaids, the groom proves to everyone how well he knows and loves his future wife. Friends from the groom's side can always come to his aid, if necessary.

After the ransom is completed, the bride's parents will organize a small table for those present.

Wedding ceremony

The wedding takes on a new shade after the official ceremony at the registry office. Many modern couples delight themselves and guests in the hall for official ceremonies not only with the first kiss, but also with the first dance (you must first agree on a specific composition).

After the official part, the guests will have a photo session with the young. Then the guests of the holiday should stand on both sides of the exit from the registry office to shower the young with rose petals, rice, coins or sweets.

According to folk signs, this ceremony (depending on the products chosen) grants young people wealth, healthy offspring, a romantic and sweet life together. If the newlyweds are true believers, then according to the customs of the Russian people, on the same day they undergo a wedding ceremony.

After the official events, the festivities begin. Usually only the closest friends are involved in them.

In order to keep colorful photographs as a memory, young people visit and hold a photo session in the most picturesque corners of the city.

The groom carrying the bride across the bridge is also an integral tradition of Russian weddings. According to beliefs, the young must do a similar procedure on seven bridges, then their union will be strong. But in the conditions of modern celebrations and the congestion of the main city highways, this is not always possible, so the tradition is observed, but the number of objects is reduced to one. They also leave a memorial castle with the initials of the young as a symbol of the strength of marriage.

In Russia, the newlyweds after the marriage visited the groom's father's house. The mother-in-law met them with bread and salt (loaf), and the father-in-law at that time held the icons. The bride and groom had to bite off part of the loaf. The head of the family was determined by the size of the bitten off piece. At the same time, the ceremony of blessing the new family took place. Today, a meeting with a loaf is increasingly taking place in a banquet hall in the presence of guests.

outfits

The first thing that comes to mind at a wedding is the dress of the bride. Its color is mostly white. The bride gets a new dress, although some girls prefer to wear their mother's dress on the solemn day, wanting to inherit her happy family life. A new dress is a symbol of entering a new life, and white is a symbol of youth and purity. That is why women who marry several times wear dresses in blue or beige shades for subsequent ceremonies.

If in Russia the wedding dress has always been bright red, then at modern celebrations you can see brides in white attire with bright accents or delicate pastel colors.

Red color today is the lot of bold and extraordinary personalities. The veil has become optional in modern weddings. It is perceived as a hairstyle decoration. You can replace the veil with a hat with a veil.

According to popular beliefs, there should be something old in the bride's attire. Most often, these are family jewelry or an element from mom's wedding dress. This attribute is a symbol of the connection between generations. Also, the outfit should contain a detail borrowed from a girlfriend. It is believed that then next to the young there will always be true friends who are ready to help in difficult times.

In order for harmony to reign in a young family, the bride must wear something blue: a garter, an accessory, an element of a dress, a make-up component.

feast

The wedding script is built in such a way that congratulations take the main place in it. Parents are always invited first. Then the floor is given to relatives and friends. So that the money envelopes do not form a chaotic pile, and by the end of the evening they are not lost at all, the bride herself or her bridesmaids specially make a box with a slot. A witness helps the bride to collect gifts in monetary terms on the day of the celebration.

After the first toasts and snacks, guests are invited to the dance floor. By tradition, the first dance always remains for the young (if it was not in the registry office). It is very fashionable today to do staged dances, for which the bride and groom work hard for several months in a dance studio. For spectacular performance, the bride and groom can wear other outfits for a while.

Another traditional dance during the feast is the dance of the bride with her father. With this action, he blesses his daughter for a happy life in another family.

Ancient Russian weddings, of course, differed from modern ones, they had a special meaning. The union of two people into a family was accompanied by various rituals that were intended to make family life happy. The traditions of the Russian wedding were strictly observed. Each stage of the celebration included a number of events that obeyed their own scenario.

Bride - the first step to marriage

Preparations for a future marriage always began from the bride. The bride or groom was chosen by the parents, so they tried to find the most suitable couple for their child. Here, physical data were taken into account most of all. It is important that the future spouses have good health, on which the ability to feed the family and adequately preserve their family hearth depends. The girl had to be hardworking and strong in spirit. Little attention was paid to welfare. It was believed that the young would make their own wealth.

The parents of the newlyweds found a suitable couple. And if the girl and the guy approved of this choice, then preparations for the next action began. But, of course, the opinion of the girl was rarely taken into account, often she was married off without consent. In small villages, where all people knew each other, the bride could not be held.

Before starting the matchmaking process, a family council was held in the house, where all members of the family expressed their pros and cons. The bride and groom did not participate in this council, they were notified after that. Quite often, young people were informed about the upcoming wedding only the day before, and they might not have seen each other at all before that.

Matchmaking - the rapprochement of future relatives

Representatives of the two members of the family had to get to know each other, since family ties were of great importance. The groom's parents went to the bride's house. Talkative and wealthy people were chosen as representatives in order to present their family in a favorable light. Arriving at the house, the matchmakers were baptized on the icons and asked permission to sit on a chair.

The bride's parents set the table with all sorts of treats and invited the matchmakers to the table as Russian wedding traditions and customs required. It was believed that the matchmakers should be well fed, as this will bring good luck to the house, even if the groom did not really like it. And only at the end of the dinner they said that their “goods have not yet ripened” and the bride is not ready for the future wedding. They could also ask to wait if they did not know the groom at all. Parents said that giving a bride in marriage is not as fast as baking a pie. After all, raising a child is a long process, and it’s quite difficult to get married right away.

The matchmaking was supposed to take place by candlelight, after dusk, so that all family members were at home. It was possible to get married only on certain days - Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, as they were considered the easiest. The bride had to go out to the matchmakers and present them with some kind of treat, and the groom had to bring the ring. During the matchmaking, the future life of the newlyweds was not discussed, for this there was a different rite.

Conspiracy - no turning back

The parents of the bride and groom gathered again to discuss all the material and domestic issues of the future festival and the life of the young. They had to discuss everything. And if everything ended positively, then the parents feasted and drank a glass of vodka in honor of a successful agreement.

During the conspiracy, they also talked about the dowry of the bride; in wealthy families, this agreement was sealed with a signature on paper. After all the questions were discussed, the fathers slapped each other's hands. This ceremony was called handshaking. Then the bride and groom joined hands - thus showing that an alliance was concluded between them. After the agreement, it was impossible to refuse the upcoming wedding under any pretext. Refusal meant a mortal sin and the one who refused had to pay compensation to the other party. After breaking the agreement, mourning clothes had to be worn.

After this ceremony, the bride was not supposed to do chores until the wedding itself. She had to walk around the village and lament. It was believed that the more she lamented, the happier her family life would be. The groom, on the contrary, before the wedding had to have a fun walk with friends in order to say goodbye to his valiant life. Every evening he was supposed to give his future wife and her friends some kind of treat.

Bachelorette and bachelor party

The bride's bachelorette party lasted until the wedding day. She and her friends sang sad songs somewhere on a bench near the house. Girlfriends braided her braid, weaving flowers into it, decorated her head with wreaths. Then the braid unraveled. The scythe was considered a symbol of girlhood, and when it unraveled, it meant that the bride was ready to become a wife. Before the wedding, the bride went with her friends to the bathhouse to say goodbye to her former life. But first, she had to put on a wreath of flowers, which her girlfriends wove.

In the bath, the bride was helped to wash by her girlfriends, she had to soar for a long time with a birch broom. It was believed that the girlfriend who steamed with this broom after the bride would also soon get married. The groom before the wedding had to gather a feast in his house, where relatives and friends came.

Blessing - the path to happiness in marriage

Wedding traditions in Russia have always included the blessing of parents, without which the young could not get married. They had to get their parents' consent to marry. The blessing ceremony was held in the church, the bride's parents held bread, salt with a towel in their hands. It was believed that without this, young people could not be happy in marriage.

For the blessing, special bread with patterns was baked. Great importance was attached to its preparation. Only a happily married, prolific woman could prepare such bread in order to convey her happy experience in marriage. Before kneading the dough, she washed herself, put on a clean dress, and prayerfully set to work.

The bread was placed in the oven by her husband, also with a prayer. The bride and groom were always greeted with such a loaf, they had to be the first to bite off it, and then the bread was distributed to the guests in pieces. The couple was greeted with words of congratulations, which were to be pronounced by the most respected person in the family.

Newlyweds attire

The bride always observed Russian wedding rites, which required her to get up early in the morning and put on a mourning dress. This meant that her girlhood was over. Girlfriends had to braid her braid for the last time. Then the bride changed into festive clothes. The bride's attire of those times consisted of a sundress and a shirt, which could be white, but most often red. On this occasion, a sundress was embroidered with gold threads and decorated with furs and jewelry. Often wedding dresses were inherited from mother to daughter. They were carefully kept all their lives. Petticoats were worn under the sundress to add splendor to the outfit.

A wreath was put on the head and the hair was left loose, while they could be decorated with jewelry. After the wedding, the hair was braided and the braids were wrapped around the head. After that, the woman had to put on a kokoshnik or a bride's scarf. The shirt of the bride and groom had to be with long arms so that they would not touch each other before the wedding. The groom wore a hat with a flower attached. The clothes were girded with a towel. A white dress with a veil of the bride began to be worn only in the 19th century.

Wedding train or tests for the groom

Before the start of the celebration, Russian wedding customs demanded that the groom redeem the bride. This is an ancient rite, which was strictly followed. The groom and some of his friends went to the bride's house. On the way to his future wife, he was blocked in every possible way. The groom and his friends had to jump over the bridge, go through the fire and show their courage.

The bridesmaids would not let him into the house, asking him for money or asking him to solve a riddle. The young man also had to pay off his girlfriends with sweets, gingerbread, money. There was a belief that the more obstacles the groom had on the way to the bride in the house, the stronger their union would be. When the groom nevertheless broke through to his beloved, he put on her a ring and kissed her. They were showered with grain and hops. It was believed that this way the marriage would be happy. A table was laid for friends, but the bride and groom did not eat, because before the wedding it was necessary to cleanse themselves of everything earthly.

Wedding as an important stage of marriage

After the test of the groom, the newlyweds had to go to church to get married. They rode in different carts. The wagons were decorated with bells and bells to announce that they were heading to the church for a wedding. The horses had to be well brushed, the sledges had to be covered with soft pillows and carpets.

The wedding in those days had legal force, so the ceremony was recorded in the priest's book. The ceremony was accompanied by the reading of prayers. Crowns were to be held over the bride and groom throughout the ceremony. The priest gave guidance to the young about their future married life. Parents were usually not present at the wedding, they had to stay at home to cook festive dishes and set tables.

The bride and groom took witnesses with them, who were supposed to be the spiritual mentors of their marriage. During the ceremony, they helped the priest, served various things and held crowns on the heads of a young couple.

Prince's table of the newlyweds

And after the wedding ceremony, the wedding train was sent to the wedding feast - the prince's table, which was held in the house of the groom's parents. The bride and groom were seated in the front corner of the house, next to them - the next of kin. Tables were arranged in the shape of the letter "L". The groom was styled as a young prince, and the bride - a young princess.

Any acquaintances of the bride and groom could come to the wedding feast. Many dishes and drinks were served, and an odd number of dishes could not be served at the wedding feast. Tables were covered with white tablecloths. The bride and groom again were not supposed to eat anything from what was on the festive table. They were served dinner at the end of the wedding feast in a special room.

After they had eaten there, the second part called "the mountain table" began. At this time, it was customary to give gifts. Everyone gave them something - it could be a gingerbread or money. After the feast was over, the young people left to the cheerful songs of the guests in order to spend their wedding night.

The wedding night

The newlyweds spent their first night at the groom's house. They made a bed in a cold room - for example, a closet, and sometimes even in a sheepfold. The bride had to bring from her dowry a beautiful, ironed sheet and blanket. In the place where the young will sleep, they put a feather bed.

The process of making the marriage bed of love was a special rite. Under it it was necessary to put a poker, bags of flour and logs. Sacks of flour meant prosperity, and logs meant future children. It is important that there is a branch of mountain ash or juniper in the room, which is stuck into the wall in order to protect the young from unclean spirits.

Outside, the bridegroom's friends guarded the young, so that drunken guests would not interfere with them. The bride had to remove the boots from the groom, which showed her humility, and the groom asked if he could go to bed with her.

The next morning, guests knocked on the door of the young people in order to check whether the bride was innocent. And if not, then a heavy collar was put on the parents' neck. In those ancient times, it was believed that a girl can lose her virginity only after performing rituals and becoming a wife.

Khlebiny - the final stage of the rites

On the second day of the wedding, the rites were completed. A feast was again arranged in the bride's house. The mother-in-law for the son-in-law had to cook pancakes, scrambled eggs and treat him. If the son-in-law ate what she cooked, then the bride was innocent, but if he refused, then no. Thus, he showed the parent's claim that they did not watch over their daughter.

Modern weddings are very different from the old ones, but many couples would like to keep some Russian wedding traditions. After all, many of them conceal the wisdom of our ancestors and make the wedding celebration beautiful and sincere.

Wedding traditions and customs of the Russian people are deeply rooted. Ever since historical times, people have honored all the rules, the founders of which were the ancestors of the Russian people, and adhered to them.

Thanks to this, many of them have survived to the present. But not many newlyweds and even their parents know their essence. Despite this, it is the long-standing traditional actions that make the wedding celebration touching, original and unforgettable. More details about them will be discussed later.

Russian wedding is a whole list of different rules, taking into account all kinds of signs for the bride and groom: these are numerous wedding ceremonies, and the second day of the event, which is organized by the groom's parents, and many more nuances. Moreover, in ancient times, all of them were observed strictly.

Matchmaking

Before going directly to the wedding, in ancient times it was necessary to go through many more traditional actions. It was impossible to imagine that young people got married without a preliminary matchmaking procedure.

First, the young man sent matchmakers to the girl, who conspired with the bride's parents and resolved various issues related to marriage. Today this tradition is known, but almost not observed. Except in a humorous way.

And all the main points about the date of the celebration and other little things, the newlyweds decide on their own. In ancient times, the groom could not come to the matchmaking with anything - the engagement ring had to be prepared. Often, parents agreed in advance about matchmaking and pairing children into a couple.

But according to custom, it was believed that the wedding would take place only if the girl accepted the ring from the young man.

If a guy came without a ring, then the parents concluded that he would not be able to provide for his family in the future.

If the matchmaking ended with a positive decision, then the parents had to perform the rite of blessing. In ancient times, it was held only in the temple with the use of icons, towels and bread and salt.

In the case when young people agreed among themselves about the wedding, and their parents did not like their choice, they might not receive the blessing of the latter. The youth had to obey.

Otherwise, there was a risk of a complete rupture of relations with parents for disobedience.

Engagement

After the matchmaking had passed, the next step was to conduct an agreement or, in other words, “hand-beating”. During this event, all participants of the event discussed all the moments of preparation and holding of the wedding.

It was from this day that all joint actions began, and it became known as the engagement. The engagement was considered an important day in the development of relationships between young people. From that moment on, some commitments were made. On this day, in public, a young man made marriage proposals to a girl.

But first of all, he turned to the father of the bride. And only after his approval, the groom could apply directly to his chosen one. After an affirmative answer, the guy handed her a ring, which was worn on the ring finger of her right hand until the wedding celebration. The engagement was celebrated quite solemnly. All worries relied mainly on the bride's family.

A chic table was laid, the heroes of the occasion and all the guests put on elegant clothes. It was the father of the bride who sat in the center of the feast.

He always retained the right of the first word and parting words. Then the guests approached the young people in turn and said congratulations.

In village families, the engagement gradually developed into a noisy event with songs and dances. Among wealthy people, balls were traditionally organized on this day, to which a huge number of guests were invited.

In ancient times, the engagement was held at least 3-6 months before the wedding. In this way, young people were given time to think about their decision and test their feelings. Another reason for such a long period was the allocation of the necessary period of time to organize the wedding and conduct preparatory activities.

For some time, the tradition of the engagement was forgotten, but recently some newlyweds are increasingly turning to this moment.

Wedding preparations

So, the engagement has passed, the wedding date has been set, and therefore the time has come to prepare for the wedding.

dowry

After collusion and engagement, the bride began to prepare the dowry. Basically, the girl did this on her own, but if the deadlines were running out, then all the women in the house came to the rescue: mother, sisters, bridesmaids. The composition of the dowry differed depending on the wealth of the families and their status.

The list of dowries usually included several dresses, fur coats, dishes, bed linen, blankets and bedspreads, carpets, fur coats, and more. In addition to her dowry, the girl also needed to prepare wedding attributes:

• an embroidered towel used for blessing;
• embroidered shirt for the groom, which he wore at the wedding.

After the wedding celebration, the embroidered towel was kept in the new family and was a talisman against sorrows and bad weather.

Outfit

The bride's wedding attire was significantly different from the one that is customary to see at modern celebrations. The white wedding dress came to Russia from Europe.

And in ancient times, the bride wore a red sundress, symbolizing a happy marriage and a large offspring. And the white color was attributed to misfortune and sadness.

Now about the veil. This element of the wedding dress had the right to wear a girl who was getting married for the first time. Such a bride had to keep her veil on throughout the entire wedding. The veil is a symbol of innocence. In many cases, it was replaced by a translucent shawl.

The shawl was a protection for the bride from evil spirits that could not see her under it. She had to leave her parental home in it and not take it off until the wedding ceremony.

Wedding rings

The tradition of wearing wedding rings also appeared a long time ago. And they had certain requirements.

The main one was that their surface should be absolutely smooth. In the engagement ring, the presence of a stone is welcome, preferably a diamond. Wedding attributes should not contain any pattern or stones.

It was believed that all these moments will attract misfortunes, troubles and other unpleasant moments in family life.

groom worries

The groom also had worries. He prepared for the wedding in his own way. Of course, not so many worries were imposed on the young man as on the newlywed. His main task was to organize a wedding bouquet for his chosen one.

It is now possible to easily use the services of florists, and earlier the front gardens of relatives and neighbors came to the rescue. It should be noted that none of them could refuse the request of the groom.

According to tradition, on the wedding day, the guy presented a bouquet to the bride, and she had to choose the most beautiful flower and attach it to the groom's shirt. This moment is the prototype of the bridal boutonniere in modern times. Today it is prepared in advance and often not from fresh flowers. The young man also had to think about the wedding cortege. Previously, it had the name "solemn wedding train". It was attended by all relatives and guests from the groom's side.

The exception was his parents. They had to stay in the house and finish all the preparations for the holiday.

Bachelorette and bachelor party

Two more events took place immediately three days before the wedding. The brides organized a bachelorette party, and the groom organized a stag party.

At the present time, the bachelorette party takes place in the form of a fun party, at which the bridesmaids give the bride all sorts of trinkets. In ancient times, things were different. The newly-made bride gathered all the girls of the village, friends and relatives.

Be sure to invite vytnitsa, who sang martyr songs. The girl at that time wept bitterly, saying goodbye to her youth, carefree life, to her parental home.

The sobbing of the bride at the bachelorette party was obligatory - otherwise, an unhappy life in marriage awaited her.

After the rite of sobbing, all those present were invited to the table. Everyone drank, ate and continued to cry. The bride gave each guest two belts. The event ended with songs.

If a girl was allowed to leave the house, then in the summer they went to the field in a crowd, picked flowers, knitted wreaths. All these actions were accompanied by songs. In winter, they went sledding. At the end of the bachelorette party, the bride with her friends went to the bathhouse, where she was washed and prepared for the upcoming wedding.

The groom's bachelor party was the absolute opposite: he spent it all alone, had to be in the bathhouse from evening to morning and be silent.

Holding a celebration

Finally, the day of celebration arrived, and on this day it was necessary to observe every action exactly. It all started with the sunrise. The newly-made bride needed to read spells from all kinds of evil eye in the house of her future husband.

Bride ransom

The next tradition, which has survived to this day, is the ransom of the newlywed.

At the moment when the young man came for his betrothed, various tests were prepared for him. Only after all the tasks were completed, he could take the bride. The whole process was fun.

The participants were all relatives from the side of the bride, who blocked the way for the groom even at the entrance to the village. The next stage was at the courtyard gate. If a young man could not cope with the task, then he had to pay with money. Of course, the task was not to ruin the groom. Everything was symbolic. Moreover, at all stages it was allowed to help the groom's friend.

After the groom took the bride, everyone together went to the wedding in the temple.

celebration

After the church, the newlyweds went to the groom's house, where the festivities took place.

On the threshold of the house of the newlyweds, the mother of the newlyweds met. She showered the couple with wheat and oats so that there would be prosperity and prosperity in family life. Then they were treated to bread and salt.

Loaf or bread was baked at home. This was done directly by the parents. Previously, there was a tradition of divination by a broken piece of bread. It has survived to this day. In general, a lot of fortune-telling was made at the wedding celebration.

In particular, who will be born first, a boy or a girl, or how young people will manage their budget.

Gifts

One of the pleasant traditions at the wedding is gifting the young. In those days, it was customary to give the following gifts:

• rich white towels, decorated with fringe;
• lashing the husband so that the wife knows her place;
• various kinds of kitchen utensils;
• crockery and souvenirs made of porcelain and crystal.

In the past, it was customary to give gifts not only to the newlyweds, but also to their parents. The festive wedding table spoke directly about the status of the groom. If he was from a wealthy family, then the table was chic. It always had meat dishes, fresh products, wines of different varieties, various pickles.

A husband from a poor family set the table more modestly.

The wedding night

The celebration ended with the farewell of the young to rest. The location of the wedding night was kept secret.

It could be a hayloft, a bathhouse and even a barn. This was done so that unkind people could not jinx the sleeping place of the newlyweds.

The bed was to be prepared by a person who did not envy the bride and mentally wished her well and happiness. That is why the mother of the bride did it. It should be noted that the echoes of the tradition of not spending the night at home on the wedding night have reached the present.

Many newlyweds try to spend their wedding night in a hotel, on a yacht or in another suitable place.

After wedding

After the wedding night, the newlyweds performed the following ritual: they carried the newlywed into the house in their arms. In this way, he tried to deceive the brownie - this is not a stranger, but the mistress of the house.

Young people during the wedding took an oath of eternal love and fidelity. According to tradition, it was during the wedding that their first kiss took place. And then, throughout life, hand in hand, strong love and deep respect for each other appeared.

After a while, knowledgeable people assessed whether everything was done correctly during the wedding ritual. If the young family lived happily and in abundance, then there were no violations. The dress in which the young wife was at the wedding, she kept in her chest and fished it out only to pass it on to her heiress when the time came. But this was not a panacea.

A girl could prepare a completely new wedding dress and not wear her mother's.

As you can see, the ancestors had quite interesting customs and traditions, many of which have survived to this day, although somewhat in a distorted form. Of course, the goal is not to oblige the newlyweds to strictly follow the traditions that were like a law for great-grandparents. But you need to remember them in order to preserve the history and customs of your people.

This video shows how a wedding was held in Russia with the rites and traditions of the Russian people:

But if there is a desire to apply this or that custom, then it is necessary to study it thoroughly so that no incident occurs.

At the present time, newlyweds are trying to hold their wedding using any theme, while completely forgetting the traditions of their people and omitting the traditional component of this event. I would like everything in the life of each of the young to happen exactly the opposite. After all, who, if not young people, should preserve the culture and traditions of their people? Or do you think the procedure for holding a wedding with traditions and customs inherited from the ancestors is outdated and unacceptable at a modern celebration?