How to teach a guy a lesson for disrespect, but not completely alienate him. How can you punish a guy with love if he offended the girl and does not realize it? 10 playful punishments for a guilty husband

Each of us wants to be loved, to be taken care of, cherished, and sometimes adored. But fate does not always give what you want. When the second half ceases to delight you with morning kisses, romantic surprises, thoughts begin to ripen in your head about how to teach your beloved man a lesson for inattention. I would like to make him understand how to deprive you of what is so vital, that inspires you to wake up with a smile, hurry home as soon as possible, knowing what he is waiting for, the only and long-awaited one.

The main secrets of how to teach a husband a lesson for inattention

First of all, it is important to forget about such alleged tricks, such as “Sex is canceled for today, tk. I have a headache". Moreover, you need to stop taking offense at the faithful, huddling in a corner and wiping away tears. They say that only actions are more eloquent than any words.

So, discarding theories, you should immediately go to practice: for inattention a guy can only be taught a lesson as he did with his beloved. For example, he accidentally forgot about the anniversary, the reservation of the restaurant table and the fact that the details were discussed this morning. Here, only one thing is appropriate: put on a stunning outfit and go to have fun with your friends. And no, no one has forgotten about the beloved. In the middle of the banquet, you can call him and tell him with a smile that she didn't have time to cook dinner, so you can get by with Mivina alone.

A man's inattention to a woman is a very bad mistake that can play a cruel joke on him in the future. Does it seem to him that this is round-the-clock television viewing? Then it is very appropriate to accidentally make an appointment with a beautician for the whole day, leaving the father and the child alone.

An equally terrible act on his part - he forgot about her birthday. Well, then, quite by accident, she forgets about his holiday, the birthday of his family and mother.

One of the easiest and most insignificant ways to take this kind of revenge for inattention is to distract yourself from thinking about it. The main thing is not to pretend that you don't care about it, but really enroll in some courses, attend all kinds of master classes with friends, go to the cinema, etc.

If we are talking about a man's inattention to family responsibilities, then, for example, one should not "take out the brain" about the fact that he did not take out the trash and should not, seething with anger, grab the bag and fly into the street. Let the faithful himself feel the stench emanating from the weekly rubbish in the bin.

Hello dear readers of the Samprosvetbulletin blog!

“How to take revenge on a man for an insult? We had a relationship, and at that time he got acquainted on the site and met girls! I learned this when we had already parted. He suddenly disappeared and did not answer SMS, then admitted that he had met a woman. At that moment I was ready to do anything with him! " - Nadezhda shared with me.

“… As a psychologist, tell me what kind of revenge will be the worst for a man? I do not want to leave him unpunished, so that he can live in peace, hurting me! I won't rest until I do something to my ex. " Julia shared with me.

In my practice, I often come across similar situations when a woman experiences and wants to avenge an insult. If a man deceived a woman's expectations, then it is quite natural for her to experience negative emotions, despair, pain, and feel wounded. There may be a strong desire to restore justice and return all negativity back to the man - to take revenge.

Sometimes it causes very strong emotional reactions, which in psychology are called affect. This reaction usually does not last long, but can be the cause of inappropriate behavior and suicide attempts. The affect completely captures the psyche, there is an obsessive desire to perform some action. This emotional reaction may not even be fully realized by the person himself, so he cannot control his state and loses a sense of reality. Often attempts to take revenge on a man for an offense in the form of harming him or herself are made under the influence of affect. If you are a very emotional woman, then in moments of strong feelings you need to switch to activities unrelated to relationships and allow the psyche to adapt to the situation. Whatever you want to do - do only in a calm state and in a "sober head".

If the desire to punish a man persists even after the first strong emotions have subsided, then most likely it is associated with the attitudes received in childhood under the influence of the parental family. Studies of positive psychology and psychotherapy have shown that the forms of revenge and punishment in relationships have their own background and are associated with how parents treated their child, each other, other people and the world around them, what their worldview was.

The desire to punish and avenge offenses can arise not only after a breakup, but also in the relationship itself, affecting various areas of life. In my practice, I noticed that some women tend to use "punishment" in relationships.

In the "bodily" sphere - the refusal of affection, abuse, restriction or refusal of sexual relations.
In the area of ​​achievement: refusal to manage the household, financial constraints, spending all the time at work.
In the field of contacts: refusal to communicate, leaving for other relationships.
In the realm of reason: withdrawal into fantasy, slander, disrespect for opinion.

When inventing revenge for your ex, remember if you tried to punish the man when you were still in a relationship with him? Do you tend to use punishment in your relationships with loved ones? Have you been "punished" by a man? If you notice that you have this behavior, you may not make similar mistakes in the future. If you realized that this behavior was typical of a man, you will make a better choice next time. Use your desire for revenge positively as an excuse for self-improvement.

Now let's figure out how your revenge can affect you and the man, and then you yourself will decide how best to act.

From a psychological point of view, revenge is always a trap, which ultimately has a negative impact on the revenger, even if it seems to him that he received some kind of relief. When we love, we want to share joy and sorrow. After the breakup, if the feelings are still strong, this desire is partly preserved. Only if earlier we wanted to share joy, now we want to share grief, even if we ourselves suffer from it. Revenge on a man, all the negativity that you will prepare for him will still be shared between him and you. You can not take revenge, punish and remain unaffected. Moreover, practice shows that revenge often depletes a woman's energy potential, and gives a man a reason to make sure “how bad she is and rightly so that he broke up with her”.

Even if a man does not show it outwardly, he is in one way or another responsible for his act and feels guilty. Women only think that men are not emotional and they don't care. But research has shown that women and men experience emotions in the same way, but can show them in different ways. So the best revenge is not to show negativity in response to an offense. You will save your resources, give the man the opportunity to be fully and completely responsible for his actions, leaving them only on his conscience. Your revenge will only take the burden off his soul. A man can unconsciously provoke you to negative actions in order to remove some of the guilt from himself.

It should also be borne in mind that it is important for a man to feel valuable and important to a woman. When he offends you, breaks off the relationship, he expects to see that it will unsettle you, because you have lost him - valuable and important.

If he sees that you are not knocked out of the rut, but on the contrary you feel great, he begins to in one way or another feel the loss of his value. He understands that he is not so important to you in order to feel happy. This can hurt a man so much that he may even try to get you back.

What do you choose: succumb to negative emotions and do small dirty tricks with your ex, or accept the situation as it is and be happy without him? You decide!

For further reflection, I will give you a parable chosen by my client, who really wanted to take revenge on her former friend.

The Parable "The Reward Divided"

An itinerant preacher came with important news to a strange city. Only to the tsar himself did he want to tell the important news. And no matter how hard the ministers tried to convince him to tell them the secret, he remained adamant in his decision. Soon, after talking with the vizier in private, he was admitted to the king. The king was overjoyed at the news and said that the preacher could choose any reward for himself. To everyone's surprise, he demanded 100 strikes with a stick as a reward! After the preacher received 50 blows with a stick, he shouted: “Stop, the other 50 blows are for the vizier. I promised him half the reward! "

The parable helped my client to understand herself and the motives of her behavior better, and she gave the following interpretation: “ I am the itinerant preacher. The king is my dreams of our relationship. The vizier is my friend who was supposed to lead me to the fulfillment of my dream (to the king). The vizier's demands to give him half of the reward is the behavior of my friend, which hurt me. Choosing a reward is choosing a life path. My choice of reward (sticks) is a desire for revenge. Having given part of the blows with sticks, I took revenge. I gave up a good reward and exposed myself to the blows just to get revenge. When you take revenge, you always get some of the blows».

Everyone interprets the parable based on their situation and experience, and perhaps you interpret it a little differently.

Good luck and see you soon on the pages of the Samprosvetbulletin!

Relationships are not always perfect, or rather never. We need to work with them together. But besides the framework of decency and honesty, there are times when a woman needs to go for a trick in order to make the relationship better. As there is a lie for the good, so the woman herself must direct the man and his behavior in the right direction. Without hesitation, a man can hurt us with his words, actions, non-verbal expressions, incorrect signals. The soul of a stranger is darkness. Even if the man did not intend to offend you, but did everything, and continues to repeat the same mistake over and over again, you still need to think about how to punish the man for the offense.

Of course, it is good to directly express all the grievances that arise, but only when the man is ready and able to listen to criticism, to perceive you as a person with his rights and desires, and as a beloved woman who is in pain. In other cases - everything is like peas against the wall. Think about when we grow? That's right when we learn. How do we learn? When life teaches us a lesson. We must do the same with our man in order to teach him to respect us.

The usual manifestations of women, as it was customary, and how our psyche reacts, has always been the deprivation of attention and physical contact with a man. If we are offended by some acquaintance, we simply stop communicating with the boor or move away. We can do this both physically and psychologically, because this person means little to us, and besides, he is also unpleasant. But with our man we experience vague feelings, because we both love him and are offended, irritated, angry, and maybe even hate him at the same time. The woman immediately moves away, withdraws and does not want to touch and let touch her. Because there are no more emotions and tenderness in the soul to make everything look believable. This is one of the manifestations of how to punish a man for an offense.

In addition, a woman should always be smarter than her chosen one, wiser. Show him that you are a person. No need for loud words and actions - just let him know that you are worth something and you have your own opinion. A man who doesn't respect it doesn't deserve you. If you don't like something, tell him directly. For example, "I don't like it when you make fun of me in front of your friends." A man understands our directness, not our hints. Leave the games for other occasions. In addition, it is worth reminding him that you are a desirable woman, that there will be any other candidate, if you just let him give him a chance. A man must learn to appreciate what he has, and you must learn to choose such a man among all "worthy" candidates. If you are wise and reasonable, you will understand how to punish a man for an offense, how to direct him, or, for a start, how to choose the best one for yourself, who himself will understand what and when to do.

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At the beginning of the relationship, both of you were elated, enjoyed the candy-bouquet period and made grandiose plans for a joint future. But as time passed, you noticed that your partner stopped showing due respect. Does the situation sound familiar? If so, read on.

Disrespect is a word with many meanings. This action can manifest itself in different ways: deception, neglect of family responsibilities, rude words, humiliation, inattention and betrayal.

Women are impressionable natures who are often made "out of an elephant fly." Before accusing a man of disrespect, analyze the situation.

You said you wanted to go out for the weekend - your partner took you to a restaurant. But the problem is that you wanted to go to the movies. This situation is not proof of disdain for you: men cannot read minds (nor can women).

But if a partner insults you, ignores requests and deceives, this is already disrespect that needs to be nipped in the bud, otherwise the guy will think that this is in the order of things and will continue to do so.

What to do

There are several ways to teach a guy a lesson for disrespect.

Negotiation

Disrespect is manifested in insult, in making fun of a girl, in humiliation of her in front of friends and acquaintances.

The problem will be solved only if it is discussed. The more you "swallow" offense, the worse it gets. Unpleasant feelings accumulate inside and literally eat you up. Over time, out of anger, you will humiliate your partner in response, ruining the relationship completely.

Tell the man about your feelings. Do not speak abstractly - bring specific situations that upset you.

Not right:

I'm tired of enduring such disrespect!

Right:

Yesterday I found out that you spoke with your friends about our intimate life. It was very unpleasant for me. Please try not to do this anymore.

Not right:

I'm fed up with your friends. If our relationship is an empty place for you, then, great, live with these assholes, let them feed and drink you!

Right:

I love you very much and I would like us to spend time together more often. Come on this Saturday you go to a game with your friends, and next weekend you can spend time with me.

Pause

It can sometimes be helpful to take a break from a relationship. It's like leaving your favorite job on vacation, but then returning to it with renewed vigor. The longer you are together, the more you rub against each other and discover flaws in your partner that you did not notice before. Offer the man a break from each other. This will help a trip, a trip to relatives or a vacation with friends. After spending some time apart, you will have time to get bored and enter into a relationship with renewed vigor.

A single deception is not a problem, since we all remain silent or withhold some information. But if your partner is caught lying several times, it's worth considering.

Perhaps the problem is your being too strict? Do you remember how in childhood we did not want to tell our mother about the misdeed, knowing that this would be followed by a scandal? There is a chance that in a relationship you behave the same way, and the man decides to hide something, just not to cause a quarrel.

Don't try to punish your partner for lying - it's a bad job. Better create a comfortable environment. Explain that honesty is important to you. Do not scold your man for every offense, otherwise what is the point of being surprised that he is hiding everything?

At the beginning of the relationship, he inundated you with gifts, brought flowers for no reason and repeated how he loves several times a day, but now this is in the past? The candy-bouquet period is over, and a serious relationship has taken its place. Most men believe that they have won the lady and no longer need to pay attention to these little things.

You need flour. You go to the store and say to the saleswoman: "flour, please." But it would never occur to you to stand around the corner of the building and shed bitter tears from resentment against the seller who does not think to run out of the store and hand over that very flour. It's the same with men.

Peacefully, gently and affectionately explain to your partner that romance is important to you, small presents are important and sincerely "love" in the morning. Don't reproach the guy in any way. Most likely, he did not even think about it, and then you will throw up claims and push him away from you.

In no case do not throw accusations at a man if you have no evidence. You need to make sure your partner is unfaithful. His sweet communication with any woman does not mean at all that they have a secret relationship - why exclude the option of a simple partnership?

Secretly tracking your partner's letters, reading messages on your phone and computer, and examining your pockets is low. No girl should stoop to such behavior.

If you do any of the above, thereby humiliating your partner, then why do you expect respect from him?

Having found, in their opinion, "evidence", women throw their fists at their partner, accusing him of treason. A harmless message from a stranger in the hands of a jealous wife turns into a real weapon. We often exaggerate a lot, take one fact and embellish it beyond recognition. Better get some hard evidence before you accuse a man. Otherwise, you risk ruining the relationship through your own stupidity.

If the fact of treason is proven, determine for yourself whether you can forgive the infidelity or not. If not, then end the relationship. There is no need to plot against your partner and try to make him suffer. Think about your own comfort. What is the point of wasting nerves and energy to teach a man a lesson if the result is the same - parting?

Think: what do you want to achieve? "His sufferings!" - the subconscious insists. Throw these thoughts away - these are just emotions that will soon pass.

If you are not so categorical about treason, then try to understand what caused it. Did you not satisfy him sexually? Have you been too rude and strict lately? Did you act like mommy?

It is important for men to see a beautiful woman next to them, who can cook delicious borscht for dinner and make the night unforgettable. Household chores can make it difficult to stay beautiful, but it's worth it. If you try, the man will do everything to make your life easier.

Try to understand what your partner was missing in the relationship and fix the problem. If a man feels comfortable, then the desire to look for other women will disappear by itself.

Forgiving betrayal is very difficult. Such betrayal can shatter strong relationships and instill mistrust even in the most loving heart. But, if you are ready to fight for family life, do your best.

Finally - an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the super ability to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: she looked at a man - and immediately you know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article right now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have any relationship problems at all.

And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you will not read other people's thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate of psychological sciences, and her method has helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.

If you're interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 places specifically for visitors to our site.

A lot can happen between two people: both the guy may be wrong, and the girl. All this makes you more tense. In the end, an explosion is likely to occur. Need to do something.

There are several questions at once and probably several answers. To begin with, it would be worthwhile to honestly answer: did the guy really hurt? Or maybe you were offended yourself?

If the insult was nevertheless (the guy cheated, got naughty, did not fulfill the promise, etc.), then it is worth taking a closer look, whether he realizes this. Maybe he thinks “these are the rules of the game,” as the song says. There are a lot of low-value books where the guys are told stories about girls, and the guys read, believe and act on the advice of would-be authors.

If a guy realizes his guilt, then he should not be punished, everyone has the right to make a mistake.

How can you punish a guy with love if he offended the girl and does not realize it?

1. It would be best to make it clear that this is not done. Simulate a mirror-like situation, but remember: guys perceive many things more painfully than girls, and many - on the contrary. If the guy himself went to his friend for his birthday, and the girl did not even warn him, then she needs to go somewhere without him. And also not to warn. And when he is indignant, play surprise: “Are you offended? But why??? After all, you yourself always do this! " Just don't say vindictively: “Aha! Now you understand how I feel ... "
2. Often, girls choose jealousy as an instrument of revenge and provoke a loved one to become jealous. The main thing here is not to overdo it and arrange everything subtly, without vulgarity about outright flirting with another.
3. Men do not want to see an unhappy woman next to them, so the image of a victim (apathy, eyes full of longing and resentment, etc.), tried on for a short time, can help the culprit to admit his mistake and cause pangs of conscience in him.
4. If the advice above did not help, then a total ignore can be a good way to take revenge on a guy for an insult. Don't pick up the phone, don't answer messages, don't make contact at all. But at the same time, be in public more often and no matter how bad your soul is, pretend to be a woman shining with happiness.
5. Well, where to go without the most common way to manipulate men? Tears, abundant and frequent, crying sobbing will not leave the offender indifferent. And even if there is no understanding of his wrongdoing, then simply the desire not to see the girl's sobs (which is not easy to endure) will force the young man by any means to return the affection of his beloved.

And if he offended deliberately? This means that the girl is not very dear to him, and instead of reasoning how to punish his beloved guy, it is better to think, not